My mom got a roommate this week. Now this is huge news because since we moved my mom into dependent care she has not been “roommate compatible.” Some of it has been a result of her helpful disposition, some of it her aggression, and no doubt large parts of it her illness.
She had one roommate that she insisted on helping in and out of bed, only to end up dropping her on the floor one day. She had another roommate whose family would bring her candy and sweets and my mom would take them and eat them. She had another roommate that was really loud. She would snore loudly when she slept and moan even louder when she was awake. They caught my mom shoving suckers in her mouth one day in an effort to get her to shut up.
So when we were looking for a new place to move mom in August, my brother and I were scared they would want to move her into a room with someone else, things would go as they had in the past. There would be a big incident, and unlike the old place, new place would be less tolerant and would tell us she couldn’t stay there. So we decided we wouldn’t say anything about her rocky roommate history and hope for the best. We really wanted this new place to work out, because it was perfect for mom and close to us, and well, we really didn’t have any other options.
They told us they had the perfect arrangement for mom. She would be sharing a room with Lynne, another resident with early onset Alzheimer’s, who loved to walk the halls and go to activities. They were sure this was going to be a good fit. My brother and I smiled and nodded enthusiastically as they explained the arrangement, then got in the car and rolled our eyes and said this is a disaster in the making.
It lasted four days. Four long, nail-biting days. My brother and I were waiting for the call, and when it came, they were so nice about it. They said mom had gotten up in the middle of the night, walked over to Lynne’s bed, pulled all the blankets and sheets off and said, “You’re going to have to leave now!” 🙂 They moved Lynne next door and mom has been in her own room for the last year and everyone has been fine.
So this week they moved a new roommate in. Mom has become so much more mellow since August. Her mood swings and her aggressive side aren’t there anymore. So hopefully it’s the right time for a roommate. We will wait and see. So far, so good.